Mayim Rabim

*hugs*

it's ok. i haven't called for my mikveh appointment and i haven't figured out why not? perhaps is it because i'm convinced i'll be a niddah kallah? (tho all my bed's thus far have been clean)

this i really do need to schedule in advance as i'd like to go before the rush and take advantage of the ability to go during the day.

i just don't want to pick up the phone. i'm not sure why. i'm looking forward to this... so what's wrong with me?!

good luck. and gut shabbos.

Well, eden, I can't speak for you, but I seem to have a mental block about calling to make an appointment, as well. I look forward to mikvah night, I like going to the mikvah, and I still have a huge hang up about picking up the phone. I haven't yet completely forgotten to call, but I've come close a few times to it being too late to call the day before. Yeah, what is up with that?

And talia - that first call is the hardest. My rebbetzin actually made my first appointment. Perhaps your rebbetzin or kallah teacher can make that first call for you? Once you've been there, and have met at least one attendant, it gets easier.

Actually, a thought has occurred to me: at my mikvah, you don't need to make an appointment during the week. And I've only had to go on a Friday night a handful of times in the past 5+ years. So appointment-making just doesn't come to mind when I plan for mikvah.

On the other hand I just did this two months ago, so it ought to be a little more fresh than that.

On the OTHER hand I am much more nervous about Friday night tevilot, for reasons explained here, and probably that's been more on my mind. Not to mention that I started staining last night out of nowhere, and had nightmares all night that I couldn't go to mikvah until NEXT weekend. Which would be, yes, Seder night.

Thank goodness, I have a heter to wear colored underwear after the first night of shiva neki'im (because this is not the first time I've had mid-week staining), so the stain didn't count. And my Rav called to say my last bedika was fine.

Phew! Now all I have to do is (a million things and) remember to pay for my visit after Shabbos. Thanks for the hugs.

Um, before everyone falls into a panic, I think you're off by seven days with this:

Not to mention that I started staining last night out of nowhere, and had nightmares all night that I couldn't go to mikvah until NEXT weekend. Which would be, yes, Seder night.

yes, you have another week. however, *I* on the other hand, might not be so lucky... or at least it could (4+7) fall out that my mikveh dip *after* my wedding (thus the 4) would be monday night, after 3 days of yom tov. it just depends if we have sex that first night. it could end up second seder night too... that would be quite difficult to explain i think. i don't even remember the kallah teacher talking about this. i really should call her!

Hahahaha! Oops. I guess it really was a nightmare. :) So much for my having a "built-in sense of time", eh? I rest my waterlogged brain case.

Talia, don't worry (I can say that now that I'm awake!) It can definitely be done. Going to mikvah on Yom Tov is lickety split, because there's nothing to do except dunk.

And at least in my family, on the second night everyone mills around even longer than usual, because you can't start setting the table or making the seder plates until after dark, people didn't all go the same shul, people are trying to put their kids to sleep or wake them up... you probably won't be too conspicuous.

If you can bring yourself to do it, though, the easiest thing is to just tell your hostess why you might be a bit late. She can discreetly cover for you with everyone else.

I think her hostess may be her mother-in-law... so "if you can bring yourself to do it" gets a bit stickier there. But anyway, Talia, don't worry about it yet. I don't know how close you're calling it on being tahor for your wedding... but most kallahs don't get to go to mikvah that second time after 11 days anyway... because their periods come during that time!

I remember feeling really stupid trying for and getting a hefsek taharah and then starting to count the sheva neki'im, because I was sure I wouldn't get all the way through them before I got my period, and I didn't... then I needed to start all over again after my period ended. The good news was that I didn't have to be careful to count 5 days before starting the 7... the bad news is that my period lasted 5 or 6 days anyway, so it didn't matter. :-( That may be the hardest part of being married... being together once and then waiting 2-3 weeks before touching again! But it was all worth it.

Oops, that should be "the hardest thing about getting married." Being married has very different issues.

When I got married, we ended up living in my in-laws house for a few weeks. My mother-in-law must have counted on her fingers and realizeed that 11 days after our Monday wedding was a Friday night, so she very courteously offered to wait for us "if I decided to go out for a walk" or to tell her husband not to go to the early minyan (it was July) or whatever I wanted. As things were, I did not need to go that night, so I had to tell her not to worry about it, which left her looking puzzled for a few days...until the night when we "went out for a while" and my husband "overslept" and missed minyan the next morning!
Seriously, if you have to go on the Seder night, whatever excuse you make, your m-i-l and any other frum women will see right through, and the guys (f-i-l included) won't notice, so relax.